theirroyalcrapness


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The deafening election hype forced me to change TV channels thrice in every fifteen to twenty minutes. I now find myself contradicting my usual TV habit of sticking to one channel throughout the entire time I’m propped on the couch. This campaign frenzy now gave me an upset stomach (ever ready to throw up!) plus an excruciating migraine that I seem to have also felt three years ago.

Every ad speaks of progress, boasts of their respective achievements and of their pseudo-realistic platforms. Call me a cynic, but it’s the only appropriate character that I can transform into. How else can I reconcile myself with an ad that remembers poverty’s echoing presence only during elections? How can I bear seeing these people disguise themselves as one with the poor and at the same time, ironically spend millions for these campaign materials? How can I put up with these partisans trying to bash each other on national TV?

Well perhaps, yes, these things are necessary to win every voter’s hearts; that these things are indeed inevitable; and that these things are truly part of the Republic’s election fanfare. Well then, they have to bear
with my puking cynicism until they start realizing that our dying country needs statesmen, not politicians.

I’ve been too jaded from these hero wannabees who can’t even do something about increasing the overly pathetic minimum wage. I scowl seeing them trying hard to rub elbows with the poor, surprisingly apologizing to one person for an act that happened eons ago, and I scowl all the more hearing them speak as if they are the one true hope for a better nation. I say, let them dine with Spongebob’s Mr. Krabs!

I believe it’s time for the Omnibus Election Code to approve a possible life sentence without parole for candidates with the crappiest campaign ad. Perhaps they might think twice before they run their respective ads.

And I believe it’s time for me to get that old cable subscription back.

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